Ok, if you think about it bacon does prove the existence of god. Let's look at the evidence, so, you've just got back from a brilliant night out and as soon as you step inside the house/flat or wherever you live, you just flop onto the floor. You 'crawl' up the stairs, hitting your head off every step on the way up, crawling across the landing towards the bathroom, catching your ear on the metal strip that separates the carpet from the Lino, then begins your perilous assent to the top of the toilet. Ok, your at the top and the fumes from unflushed urine mixed with water are getting in your eyes, then your eyes water, leaking down on to the toilet duck, and the fumes from the toilet duck are making your eyes water too ( it's a vicious cycle ), there's that 10 seconds where you forget your own name, then you start to pass out. Your probably wondering " but Jamie, where does bacon come into this extremely interesting story!?!?!???? " well, in the morning while your asleep on the toilet, your parents/roommate/sergeant/girlfriend/boyfriend would bust out the frying pan, whips out the bacon then BAM! It hits the pan and sizzles until the smell erupts from the bacon and spreads out across the house to find its 'victim'. It goes up the stairs, across the landing, past the metal strip that separates the carpet from the Lino, then it sees you, a lifeless heap of man/woman. Then that bacon knows why it was put on this earth, to resurrect you. It then darts up your nose into your bacon receptor in your brain then you burst into life, with amriter shanks imprinted on your face backwards then you rush off downstairs and you are alive and cured one more! Is that enough proof for you? I'll leave you to ponder that one so bless your face, if you sneezed or vomited during this post then bless you, peace off
- Jamie
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